This is about the twentieth time I have been trying to write a tribute to my late mother in the past twenty-four hours but each time I put my fingers on the keyboard, I got failed by my emotions either through tears or failure to find the appropriate words to write. How do I start and from which point? I have written on several subjects, including tributes to departed loved ones in the past but this time around everything have failed me.
I lost my father on August 14th, 1980, when I was barely fifteen and just finished form three of secondary school. The trauma lasted for some time and then acceptance set in and gradually the pain of the lost became bearable. This is because someone was there to cushion the effect of this loss and be the father figure that my siblings and I missed while growing up. That was my late mother who died on December 19th, 2021. She filled the void created by the death of our father so well, we didn’t feel fatherless at any point in our lives. This day is the darkest day of my life, so far. I don’t know what to say or where to start.
My mother was a woman like no other – and that is why I am finding it difficult to write anything coherent about her. She wasn’t just a mother to me – she was a mother to the needy, the vulnerable, the motherless and fatherless, but above all, she was a teacher and mentor to all who came her way. At the time of her death, there were about thirty-three kids in her house some of whom she doesn’t know their parents. She was ready to sacrifice your convenience for that of those kids. To my siblings and I, she gave us life when our dad died; she yelled at us when we stray. She sacrificed her comfort for us.
The late Hafsatu Hammanyero, Goggo Dada to all those who came across her, was an epitome of humanity and selflessness, a mother to the motherless and a father to the fatherless. She was a humanist who served humanity till the day she took her breath. My mother was an inspiring soul, always there for all who came to her with their troubles. Her home was open to everyone, and her hospitality made them feel important. She was the most loving, humble, compassionate, understanding, humane woman and one of the most beautiful souls one could ever meet.
To the world, you were one person, but to me, you were the world. You did not have much, but we always felt like we had everything. You did not leave millions in your bank account, but you left a legacy worth much more. You taught us love, patience and endurance. You taught us how to relate with others and led by example. I just pray we may be able to measure up to your standards, which I know will be very difficult for the four of us that you left to carry the weight that you did all these years with joy and ease. I caught a glimpse of this during the 2022 Ramadan, the first without you, when I came across your extended “family” of beneficiaries. It was mind boggling to say the least, but we will soldier on and pray to Allah (swt) to reward you abundantly.
Much as I may want to say much on this first anniversary of my mother’s death, I couldn’t find the words and the emotional balance to say much. My heart is still heavy, and we miss you so much, it hurts. Amma, kullu nafsin za’iqatul maut. I pray to Allah (swt) to forgive you your shortcomings and may aljannah Firdausi be your final abode.
