“I hope your daughter is safe”
“We thank God. We are all fine. But which of my daughters do you have in mind?”
“The one in California. When I read about the wildfires that destroyed over six areas in Southern California, it was you and your daughter that came to my mind. I called you but in your usual fashion, you don’t pick your calls and you are very bad at returning calls.”
“Don’t mind me. Sometimes, I just get too busy for myself. But to God be the glory. The fires didn’t reach her own side of California. But you are right. It has been a traumatic week for me. I was permanently on the phone to her, and even when she told me she was in a safe area each time I read that the wildfires were spreading, I died a little. The commentators online didn’t help matters. They would say Apocalyptic. Surreal. Chaotic. Devastating. Uncontrollable. I became a geography expert monitoring the fires in California from Nigeria.”
“I cannot blame you”.
“That girl is my only daughter. She means everything to me. I have told these children, live in Nigeria, but once you send them to school abroad, they don’t want to come home again. You won’t see their tail lights again. She is in California. Her elder brother is in Canada. The other boy is in the UK. I should have married a second wife long ago, to create a second generation of children instead of sitting all alone in this big house. They don’t even call. They are too busy with their own lives. But what can I do? I commiserate with the people of Los Angeles, the government of California, and the United States.”
“Lost Angeles. A lost city”
“Terrible. Entire neighbourhoods were wiped out by fire. Pacific Palisades. Hollywood Hills. Eaton. Hurst. Lidia. Kenneth. Sunset. Woodley. Olivas. Celebrities lost their homes. Paris Hilton. Adam Brody. Leighton Master. Losses running into over $8 billion worth of insurance. Ordinary people running away from their homes had to abandon their vehicles as they were chased by fire and the intense winds. Total incineration. There is certainly something in this world that we do not understand.”
“The fires have been traced to global warming. The World Meteorological Organization (WMO) and the EU Copernicus Climate Change Services Centre (3SC) have both reported that the year 2024 has been the hottest year for a decade, with an average of 1.6C on a daily basis.”
“I thought the Paris Agreement of 2015 puts the recommended limit at 1.5C. And since then we have been having the Conference of Parties (COP) on global climate issues. COP 26 in Glasgow, Scotland, in 2021, COP 27 in Sharm El Sheik, Egypt in 2022, COP 28 in Dubai in 2023, COP 29 in Baku, Azerbaijan in November 2024. I remember those ones very well. World leaders meet and they make commitments, to reduce carbon emissions to zero, finance climate adaptation, and create a better world.”
“Hypocrites! Holding Talks. Leaders of the Global North are quick to talk about climate finance and climate adaptation, but they are not committed to it. We suffer in the Global South far more, even when we contribute less to the crisis. And yet we see the world warming up. Ice glaciers are melting. Sea levels are rising. Earthquakes are more frequent. Floods everywhere. If world temperatures were to rise to 2C, we would all be dead.”
“There are other theories though, especially in the lawless Lost Angeles fires.”
“Tell me”
“Some people are saying that it has to do with the power supply system in the County. Electricity poles collapsing and igniting fires.”
“What I know is the fire chief saying this is about climate change, low humidity and rampaging winds fuelling the fires and that nobody knows when this rage of nature would end or how far the wildfires will travel.”
“Hmm So, what is on your mind? You will ask your daughter to come back home? Return to Nigeria. We don’t have wildfires here.”
“We are part of humanity. We are all in this together. Do you know how many Nigerians live in California? Whatever happens in any part of the world affects others. It is when it touches you that you know. I don’t think my daughter will even agree to come home. She has a good job. She is doing well. I just want her to get married and settle down and run her own life.”
“How is that your business? Let her get a husband and inform you.”
“No. It is my business. I want her to settle down. If she was in her husband’s house, I would not need to worry about wildfires in California. I will know she is not alone. The two of them can look after each other and their own family, and I can sleep better here in Nigeria”
“You are getting old”.
“My daughter should not marry?”
“Leave young people to do their thing. They know how to survive. Stop sounding like a father in-law who wants to do Omugwo. I know your type.”
“What is wrong with Omugwo? I can do it. What is wrong in helping to bring up my own grandchildren.”
“My friend, go and sit down. It is women who do post-partum care not men. Don’t go and disgrace yourself in your daughter’s house. Two of my daughters are married. You know that. Have you ever seen me going to their houses to help baby sit? It is their mother that does that. Don’t let your enthusiasm and lack of experience get the better of you. Getting a husband for your daughter, yes, but don’t go to the ridiculous extent of helping your in-law to change nappies for his own children?”
“You don’t ever get it.”
“Yes. I don’t ever get anything. But I am more experienced than you. Listen to words of wisdom.”
“Obasanjo did well sha”
“What did he do?”
“Last Sunday, he organized a special memorial service in Abeokuta for President Jimmy Carter of the United States who died at 100”
“Oh. That’s a good one. Nice one. President Carter was a good man. He was a global citizen. He made more impact even after his Presidency as a global statesman. This is what we tell our leaders in Africa. Do good. Govern well. Be useful to humanity in and out of office. Stop stealing. Look at the bigger picture ahead. I am sure most Americans don’t even know where Abeokuta is on the map, and yet they have their late President being celebrated, about 5, 000 miles away. These our African leaders, their own people will spit on their graves. It is good to be nice, to leave a legacy of honour and character. This is the message of Jimmy Carter’s legacy.”
“This is also about friendship and loyalty. President Obasanjo found in President Carter a good friend. He has chosen to honour him.”
“A friend must be a friend. I know some people. If their friend dies, their way of showing loyalty would be to take over his wife.”
“Are you alright? I am making an important point, you are talking about wives. Seriously, are you drunk? You must just find a way of turning everything into a joke.”
“Ok. Ok. Sorry. My mind just strayed. You know how it is. You are discussing something and then your mind will just go in another direction, even to a subject that is totally unrelated. These days, my mind just goes this way and that way.”
“Go and see a doctor immediately. Lunacy. Schizophrenia. Hallucination. Seek help.”
“You are the one that is mad. I know what crossed my mind. I am very lucid.”
“Hmm.”
“It is about this woman”
“Which woman? Look, I am not in the mood for gossip today. I have things to attend to.”
“I am talking about this woman who, on January 8, held up a flight from Uyo to Abuja, Ibom Air because according to her she would not leave except her luggage was loaded onto the aircraft and nobody else will travel also. She made sure 89 passengers aboard the aircraft were left stranded. The flight had to be cancelled. And that is supposed to be somebody’s wife oh and the mother of some children. I pity her husband.”
“What I hear is that the same airline had failed to carry her luggage before, citing luggage restrictions. Happening a second time, she could not take it again. I think I know where she is coming from. These Nigerian airlines have very rude staff. They are so discourteous. Someone has to get really angry and teach them a lesson. You will buy expensive tickets and then one airline staff will start treating you as if he or she is doing you a favour. I support the woman. What nonsense! In fact, she should have deflated the tyres of the plane.”
“No. I don’t think you have the right information. What she did was an act of terrorism. No matter the provocation, no air traveller has the right to sabotage the flight. There were other persons on that flight who had things to do in Abuja. They suffered losses, physical and emotional.”
“Somebody has to stand up to these Nigerian airlines. They misbehave a lot. There is no consumer protection. The last time I wanted to go to Abuja, they kept me waiting for hours upon hours. Nobody gave any explanation. The staff were rude and stupid. A flight that was scheduled for 2 pm, I did not get to Abuja until 1 am. One of these days, I will deflate their tyres and damn the consequences.”
“Other lives are involved. You will not do that. Which is precisely the issue in the Ibom Air case. The airline said the woman was carrying excess luggage, and that the aircraft had baggage restrictions. They offered to get the luggage to her on arrival. She insisted on carrying her luggage as hand luggage. Wahala oh. Nigerians are notorious for carrying Town Council luggage. They know us even in Heathrow London, they had to create a special terminal for Nigerians. I don’t think anybody should endanger another person’s life by disregarding safety regulations.”
“Which safety regulations? If the woman had agreed to give the persons at the counter small bribe, they would immediately play ball. This is Nigeria. She just happened to be one of the difficult ones.”
“I will rather just insist that safety is important and those who travel by air must realize that they do not have the right to inconvenience other people. Things got so bad in that January 8 incident other passengers wanted to lynch the woman. But now, I hear the Civil Aviation Authority, NCAA has decided to sue the woman.”
“I think the NCAA, Ibom Air, air travellers and other stakeholders must see this as a wake-up call to do a lot more to defend consumers’ interest. I get your point about safety: baggage restrictions, not holding up other passengers and the fact that the Uyo airport is a sunset airport, but let’s tell ourselves the truth, airlines in Nigeria have a way of bringing out the worst in everybody.”
“We all know that. We should all just try to be civilized about how we manage our frustrations”
“I hear that the Speaker of the Lagos State House of Assembly has been impeached. He was accused of fraud and abuse of office. Serious drama in Lagos, yesterday. Even his supporters who came from Agege to protect and defend him were whisked away by security agents.”
“And they were singing on your mandate we shall stand…on your mandate!”
“We all know who is standing on what mandate.”
“It can only be the Jagaban himself. The Jagaban of Borgu. The Asiwaju of everywhere. The President-General of Nigeria. Whoever does not know will know. If you have ears that still hear, you will hear: Obleee”
“Whatever. Obasa served for three terms as Speaker. Now his detractors in the House say they want to try another person. A woman has emerged. Mojisola Meranda from Apapa 1 Constituency. First female Speaker of the Lagos State House of Assembly. Congratulations to her.”
“Does that mean the end of Hon. Mudashiru Obasa’s political career?”
“No. No. No. I won’t say that. His tenure as Speaker yes. Immediately he was impeached, his enemies started removing his pictures from the walls. That is life. Today, people praise you. If you slip a little, they will turn their back on you. But Obasa remains a member of the House. He also remains a political leader in his Agege Constituency. I smell 2027 politics. The moment I heard that he was interested in becoming Governor of Lagos State in 2027, I knew something was going to happen to him.”
“I hear it is the matter between him and Governor Babajide Sanwoolu. The Speaker was becoming too proud for the Governor. When the President came home, he tried to sort things out between them. This is the long hand of the Godfather of Lagos politics. Obasa is a victim of power play.”
“Let us hope he gets some clarity. But no man should be sacrificed for having an ambition. It is a legitimate aspiration to want to be Governor. The Speaker of the House cannot be an errand boy of the Governor. The part of the story that needs to be clarified is this talk about fraud and abuse of office. I want to hear more about that. What did he abuse? Tell us. But it is good news that Lagos now has a Female Speaker of the Lagos House of Assembly. I think I like that”.
“Me too. Congratulations to her.”
“By the way, the West African Examinations Council (WAEC) has introduced resit exams for students who cannot get five credits at the first sitting. Between January and March, they can resit the exam or some papers to enable them make the next round of college admissions, instead of having to wait and lose a whole year.”
“What is in a WAEC exam that a pupil cannot pass at one sitting? Parents should encourage their children to get more serious and stop getting distracted by social media and music. Sit down, read, pass. Which resit? This is how we encourage indolence among secondary school students.”
“Everyone deserves to be given a second chance in life. I support the idea of the early WAEC resit.”
“You will support anything. I am sure you didn’t pass your own school cert at the first attempt. So what do I expect? Olodo people. Anyway, looks like the Super Eagles now have a new head coach.
“Yes. His name is Eric Sekou Chelle. Malian. We will wait and see.”
