How does verbal appreciation affect marriage? By Aisha Musa Auyo

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A beautiful marriage comprises a couple who see and know how to appreciate one another by verbalising their optimistic estimation of each other—couples who don’t just internalise their appreciation of each other’s beauty but voice it out.

Men, when you see your wife as she is dressing up, don’t keep quiet; it’s an opportunity to tell her how beautiful she looks, for you are her mirror. I started with men because they are the gender that is very stingy with words. The same gender that was telling you how beautiful you are before marriage became mute after marriage. I wonder what happened. Men, you are the only ones who will be seeing the wonderful underwear your spouse is putting on, which others will never have an opportunity to see or compliment. If she does not have undies worth complimenting, get her one! Who is more qualified to tell a woman she is beautiful than her husband?

It is very encouraging for a spouse to know that their partner appreciates how they look and still thinks of them as handsome or beautiful, not minding the number of years they have been together as a couple. It does not matter how old you are or how long you have been married. Simple appreciation, no matter the form, is a beautiful way of adding colour to your marriage. The food is delicious, the home smells nice, the bathroom looks spotless, this hairstyle looks great on you, etc., will cost you nothing but earn you a lot.

As much as men enjoy verbal appreciation, they also crave respect and admiration. Admiration for their hard work, masculinity, sacrifices, and admiration for their ideals, deeds, and wins. When a spouse knows that he or she is highly appreciated or valued, the one who receives the love will always have an urge or a longing to give back what they have received. So it’s a win-win. Even if you have been giving and not receiving, don’t despair. You will agree that giving of appreciation has a package attached to it: the joy of giving. A gift that lightens your heart and sends waves of fulfilment to you whenever you show appreciation.

Remember, your spouse is an opportunity to show love, kindness, and gratitude; the best expression of meekness and humility and, above all, the best person after God to lavish all the praise you can fathom.

Aisha Musa Auyo is a Doctorate researcher in Educational Psychology, a mother of three, a Home Maker, caterer, and a parenting/ relationship coach.

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