The Pathway to Righteousness: God’s Design for Family and Relationships, By Isaac Megbolugbe

Introduction

(March 12, 2025) The Bible is clear that God’s statutes, or laws, are designed to guide us towards a life of righteousness, peace, joy, and fruitfulness. One of the key areas where this plays out is in our relationships, particularly within the family. In this article, we’ll explore God’s design for family and relationships, and how it provides a pathway to righteousness in contrast to the destructive consequences of human empowerment ideologies.

God’s Design for Family

The family is one of the building blocks of society, and God created it as a fundamental unit of human relationships. The Bible defines the family as a husband (man), wife (woman), and their children, all living together in a household (Genesis 2:24, Ephesians 5:22-33). God is intimately involved with each member of the family, and He has established clear roles and responsibilities for each one.

The Husband’s Role

The husband is commanded to love his wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25-33). This means loving her selflessly, sacrificially, and unconditionally. The husband is also responsible for leading his family in a godly way, providing for their physical and spiritual needs.

The Wife’s Role

The wife is commanded to respect her husband and submit to his authority as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22-24). This does not mean that the wife is inferior to the husband, but rather that she is called to play a unique role in the family. The wife is also responsible for helping her husband and caring for their children.

Mutual Submission

Both the husband and wife are called to mutually submit to each other and to the authority of God (Ephesians 5:21). This means recognizing that both partners have different roles and responsibilities, but that they are equal in value and worth before God.

The Consequences of Human Empowerment Ideologies

In contrast to God’s design for family and relationships, human empowerment ideologies such as patriarchy, feminism, womanism and alternative lifestyles have led to destructive consequences. These ideologies have created a culture of strife, grievances, frustrations, and upheaval, where men and women are pitted against each other in a battle for power and control.

The Pathway to Righteousness

The pathway to righteousness is not found in human empowerment ideologies, but rather in God’s design for family and relationships. When we follow God’s statutes and live according to His design, we experience a life of righteousness, peace, joy, and fruitfulness. This is not a life of restriction or oppression, but rather a life of freedom and fulfillment.

Conclusion

In conclusion, God’s design for family and relationships provides a pathway to righteousness that is far superior to human empowerment ideologies. By following God’s statutes and living according to His design, we can experience a life of righteousness, peace, joy, and fruitfulness. Let us reject the destructive consequences of human empowerment ideologies and instead choose the pathway of righteousness, which is the way of learning, discovery, growth, transformation, and development.

The Basics: First things first

So, what’s the way forward? How can we begin to rebuild our families and relationships according to God’s design?

1. Return to God’s Word: We need to return to God’s Word and study it carefully, seeking to understand His design for family and relationships.
2. Repent of Sin: We need to repent of our sins and ask for forgiveness, seeking to live a life of obedience to God’s statutes.
3. Seek God’s Wisdom: We need to seek God’s wisdom and guidance, asking Him to help us navigate the complexities of family and relationships.
4. Build Healthy Relationships: We need to build healthy relationships with our spouses, children, and community, seeking to live out God’s design in practical ways.

The Promise of God’s Design

When we follow God’s design for family and relationships, we can experience a life of righteousness, peace, joy, and fruitfulness. We can build strong, healthy relationships that bring glory to God and blessing to ourselves and others.

Conclusion

In conclusion, God’s design for family and relationships provides a pathway to righteousness that is far superior to human empowerment ideologies. By following God’s statutes and living according to His design, we can experience a life of righteousness, peace, joy, and fruitfulness. Let us reject the destructive consequences of human empowerment ideologies and instead choose the pathway of righteousness, which is the way of learning, discovery, growth, transformation, and development.

As we seek to rebuild our families and relationships according to God’s design, let us remember that it’s a journey, not a destination. Let us be patient, kind, and compassionate with one another, seeking to live out God’s design in practical ways. And let us always remember that God’s design is not restrictive, but rather liberating, leading us to a life of righteousness, peace, joy, and fruitfulness.

Humanity Needs a Reset: A New Era of Relationships

As we embark on this journey of rebuilding our families and relationships according to God’s design, we are entering a new era of relationships. An era marked by mutual respect, trust, and submission. An era where men and women work together as equal partners, each contributing their unique gifts and strengths. In this new era, we will see families that are strong, healthy, and thriving. We will see marriages that are built on a foundation of love, trust, and mutual submission. We will see children who are raised in a nurturing environment, where they are taught the values of love, respect, and obedience.

A Call to Community

As we strive to rebuild our families and relationships according to God’s design, we recognize that we cannot do it alone. We need the support and encouragement of our community. We urge you to join us in this effort. Let us work together to create a community that values and supports healthy families and relationships. Let us provide a safe and nurturing environment where men, women, and children can grow and thrive.

A Brighter Future is Possible

As we look to the future, we are filled with hope and excitement. We know that the journey ahead will not be easy, but we are confident that with God’s guidance and wisdom, we can overcome any obstacle. We know any endeavor that seek to exclude God will be futile. The fruits of our collective hindsight show that the battle of the gender was always a Luciferian project. Humanity needs to break off this self-delusion and reaffirm our humanity as a unified, interconnected, interdependent community fully dependent on God, our creator and redeemer. We envision a future where families are strong and healthy, where marriages are built on a foundation of love and mutual submission, and where children are raised in a nurturing environment. Let us work together to create this brighter future, a future that is built on the principles of God’s design for family and relationships.

Challenges and Difficulties Ahead

Complaints of feminists against patriarchy

Feminists have raised several complaints against patriarchy, including:

1. Gender-based oppression: Feminists argue that patriarchy perpetuates the oppression of women, denying them equal rights, opportunities, and freedoms.
2. Sexism and misogyny: Patriarchy is seen as perpetuating sexist attitudes and behaviors, including the objectification and degradation of women.
3. Inequality in the workplace: Feminists argue that patriarchy perpetuates wage gaps, glass ceilings, and other forms of workplace inequality.
4. Restrictions on reproductive rights: Patriarchy is seen as limiting women’s autonomy over their own bodies, particularly in regards to reproductive rights and access to healthcare.
5. Domestic violence and abuse: Feminists argue that patriarchy perpetuates a culture of violence and abuse against women, particularly in the home.
6. Stereotyping and marginalization: Patriarchy is seen as perpetuating limiting stereotypes and marginalizing women’s voices and experiences.
7. Lack of representation and leadership: Feminists argue that patriarchy perpetuates a lack of representation and leadership opportunities for women in various fields.
8. Objectification of women’s bodies: Patriarchy is seen as perpetuating the objectification of women’s bodies, particularly in media and advertising.
9. Perpetuation of rape culture: Feminists argue that patriarchy perpetuates a culture that blames victims of rape and perpetuates rape myths.
10. Limiting women’s agency and autonomy: Patriarchy is seen as limiting women’s agency and autonomy, particularly in regards to decision-making and self-determination.
11. Erasure of women’s history and contributions: Feminists argue that patriarchy has led to the erasure of women’s history, contributions, and achievements.
12. Perpetuation of gender-based violence: Patriarchy is seen as perpetuating gender-based violence, including domestic violence, sexual assault, and harassment.
13. Limiting women’s access to education and resources: Feminists argue that patriarchy has limited women’s access to education, economic resources, and other opportunities.
14. Perpetuation of sexist language and discourse: Patriarchy is seen as perpetuating sexist language and discourse, including derogatory terms and stereotypes.
15. Objectification of women in media and popular culture: Feminists argue that patriarchy has led to the objectification of women in media and popular culture, including in advertising, music, and film.
16. Perpetuation of patriarchal norms and expectations: Patriarchy is seen as perpetuating norms and expectations that reinforce men’s dominance and women’s subordination.
17. Limiting women’s reproductive autonomy: Feminists argue that patriarchy has limited women’s reproductive autonomy, including access to birth control, abortion, and other reproductive health services.
18. Perpetuation of gender-based discrimination: Patriarchy is seen as perpetuating discrimination against women and other marginalized groups, including in the workplace, education, and healthcare.
19. Erasure of non-binary and trans individuals: Feminists argue that patriarchy has led to the erasure of non-binary and trans individuals, including their experiences, identities, and contributions.
20. Perpetuation of intersectional oppression: Patriarchy is seen as perpetuating intersectional oppression, including the intersections of racism, classism, homophobia, transphobia, and ableism.

These complaints highlight the various ways in which patriarchy perpetuates inequality, oppression, and violence against women and other marginalized groups. These complaints need to be acknowledged and transformed into both a strategic and operational agenda of reform and transformation. They do not constitute a righteous stand to empower women to do similar  wrongs that men are doing to women.

The rebuttals of feminist complaints by those who believe in patriarch

Those who believe in patriarchy, or who are skeptical of feminist complaints, may offer the following rebuttals:

1. Biological differences: Some argue that biological differences between men and women, such as physical strength and reproductive roles, necessitate different social roles and responsibilities.
2. Traditional values and social order: Others argue that patriarchal systems have been in place for centuries and have provided stability and social order.
3. Men’s rights and responsibilities: Some argue that men have been unfairly vilified and that their rights and responsibilities, such as providing for their families, have been overlooked.
4. Feminist extremism: Some argue that feminist complaints are exaggerated or unrealistic, and that feminist ideology has become too extreme and divisive.
5. Cultural and historical context: Others argue that patriarchal systems must be understood within their cultural and historical context, and that criticisms of patriarchy are often based on modern Western values.
6. Women’s choices and agency: Some argue that women have agency and make choices that perpetuate patriarchal systems, and that feminist complaints overlook women’s own role in maintaining these systems.
7. Economic and social benefits: Others argue that patriarchal systems have provided economic and social benefits, such as stability and security, that outweigh any perceived drawbacks.
8. Misinterpretation of data: Some argue that feminist complaints are based on misinterpreted or cherry-picked data, and that a more nuanced understanding of the data would reveal a more complex picture.
9. Feminist hypocrisy: Others argue that feminists often hypocritically demand special treatment and privileges while also advocating for equality.
10. Patriarchy as a natural order: Some argue that patriarchy is a natural order that reflects the biological and psychological differences between men and women.
11. Lack of personal responsibility: Some argue that feminist complaints often overlook the role of personal responsibility in achieving success and happiness.
12. Misandry and anti-male bias: Others argue that feminist ideology often perpetuates misandry (the hatred of men) and anti-male bias, which can be harmful to men and boys.
13. Feminist double standards: Some argue that feminists often apply different standards to men and women, holding men to a higher standard of behavior while excusing or justifying similar behavior in women.
14. The importance of traditional masculinity: Others argue that traditional masculinity, which emphasizes traits like strength, courage, and leadership, is essential for individual and societal well-being.
15. The dangers of gynocentrism: Some argue that feminist ideology often prioritizes women’s interests and perspectives over thoseof men, leading to a gynocentric (woman-centered) society that neglects the needs and concerns of men and boys.
16. The need for balance and nuance: Others argue that feminist complaints often lack balance and nuance, failing to account for the complexities and variations of human experience.
17. The importance of family and social bonds: Some argue that patriarchal systems often prioritize family and social bonds, which are essential for human well-being and flourishing.
18. The limitations of feminist ideology: Others argue that feminist ideology is limited in its ability to address the full range of human experiences and concerns, and that other perspectives and approaches are needed to create a more just and equitable society.
19. The need for dialogue and debate: Some argue that feminist complaints often shut down dialogue and debate, rather than encouraging open and respectful discussion of the issues.
20. The importance of empirical evidence: Others argue that feminist complaints often rely on anecdotal evidence or ideological assumptions, rather than empirical evidence.

It’s essential to note that these rebuttals are not universally accepted and may be subject to counterarguments and criticisms. But there must be a truth and reconciliation platform to surface these complaints and counter complaints, arguments and counterarguments. Both men and women have departed from God’s design for family and relationships which might be the place of common ground to start.

The pleas for womanists who advocate for accommodation of what the feminist complaints

Womanists, who are primarily women of color, may advocate for the accommodation of some feminist complaints while also acknowledging the limitations and biases of mainstream feminist movements. Here are some pleas that womanists might make:

1. Inclusion of diverse perspectives: Womanists might plea for the inclusion of diverse perspectives and experiences, particularly those of women of color, in feminist movements and discussions.
2. Intersectionality: Womanists might emphasize the importance of intersectionality, recognizing that women’s experiences are shaped by multiple factors, including race, class, sexuality, and disability.
3. Contextualizing feminist complaints: Womanists might plea for a more nuanced understanding of feminist complaints, taking into account the historical, cultural, and social contexts in which they arise.
4. Avoiding universalizing experiences: Womanists might caution against universalizing the experiences of white, middle-class women, and instead, advocate for a more inclusive and diverse understanding of women’s experiences.
5. Addressing systemic injustices: Womanists might plea for a greater focus on addressing systemic injustices, such as racism, poverty, and heteropatriarchy, which disproportionately affect women of color.
6. Centering the voices of marginalized women: Womanists might advocate for centering the voices and experiences of marginalized women, including women of color, queer women, and women with disabilities.
7. Fostering solidarity and coalition-building: lWomanists might plea for greater solidarity and coalition-building among women from different backgrounds and communities, recognizing that women’s struggles are interconnected and intersectional.
8. Challenging dominant feminist narratives: Womanists might challenge dominant feminist narratives that erase or marginalize the experiences of women of color, and instead, offer alternative narratives that prioritize the voices and perspectives of marginalized women.
9. Promoting cultural sensitivity and humility: Womanists might plea for greater cultural sensitivity and humility among feminists, recognizing that women’s experiences are shaped by diverse cultural contexts and traditions.
10. Fostering a more inclusive and equitable feminist movement: Womanists might advocate for a more inclusive and equitable feminist movement that acknowledges and addresses the diverse needs and concerns of women from different backgrounds and communities
11. Addressing the intersections of racism and sexism: Womanists might plea for a greater focus on addressing the intersections of racism and sexism, recognizing that women of color face unique challenges and forms of oppression.
12. Centering the voices of indigenous women: Womanists might advocate for centering the voices and experiences of indigenous women, recognizing the historical and ongoing impacts of colonialism and imperialism.
13. Addressing the needs of women with disabilities:  Womanists might plea for a greater focus on addressing the needs and concerns of women with disabilities, recognizing the unique challenges and forms of oppression they face.
14. Promoting economic justice and equity: Womanists might advocate for promoting economic justice and equity, recognizing that women of color are disproportionately affected by poverty and economic inequality.
15. Addressing the impact of imperialism and globalization: Womanists might plea for a greater focus on addressing the impact of imperialism and globalization on women’s lives, recognizing the ways in which these systems perpetuate inequality and oppression.
16. Centering the voices of queer and trans women: Womanists might advocate for centering the voices and experiences of queer and trans women, recognizing the unique challenges and forms of oppression they face.
17. Promoting restorative justice and healing: Womanists might plea for a greater focus on promoting restorative justice and healing, recognizing the need for accountability and repair in the face of historical and ongoing forms of oppression.
18. Addressing the intersections of sexism and homophobia: Womanists might advocate for addressing the intersections of sexism and homophobia, recognizing the unique challenges and forms of oppression faced by lesbian and bisexual women.
19. Centering the voices of women in the Global South: Womanists might plea for centering the voices and experiences of women in the Global South, recognizing the unique challenges and forms of oppression they face in the context of globalization and imperialism.
20. Promoting a more nuanced understanding of power and oppression: Womanists might advocate for promoting a more nuanced understanding of power and oppression, recognizing the ways in which different forms of oppression intersect and compound.

What framework exists that offers compelling case for reconciliation and mutually rewarding future?

Several frameworks exist that offer a compelling case for reconciliation and a mutually rewarding future between different groups, including:

1. Restorative Justice: Focuses on repairing harm, promoting healing, and fostering reconciliation through inclusive and participatory processes.
2. Transformative Justice: Aims to transform the underlying social and economic structures that perpetuate inequality and injustice, promoting collective healing and empowerment.
3. Reconciliation Framework: Developed by the Canadian Truth and Reconciliation Commission, this framework outlines a process for reconciliation, including acknowledgment, apology, and reparations.
4. The Ubuntu Framework: Originating from African philosophy, Ubuntu emphasizes interconnectedness, reciprocity, and mutual support, promoting a culture of reconciliation and community building.
5. Nonviolent Communication (NVC):  Developed by Marshall Rosenberg, NVC offers a framework for empathetic communication, conflict resolution, and reconciliation, focusing on understanding and addressing the needs of all parties.
6. The Circle Process: A restorative justice approach that brings together individuals and communities to address harm, promote healing, and foster reconciliation through a facilitated circle process.
7. The Indigenous Reconciliation Framework: Developed by Indigenous peoples in Canada, this framework outlines a process for reconciliation, including recognition, respect, and responsibility.
8. The Social Healing Framework: Developed by Dr. Judith Herman, this framework outlines a process for social healing, including recognition, responsibility, and reparation.
9. The Transitional Justice Framework: Developed by the International Center for Transitional Justice, this framework outlines a process for addressing human rights violations, promoting accountability, and fostering reconciliation.
10. The Intergenerational Reconciliation Framework: Developed by Dr. Cynthia Cohen, this framework outlines a process for reconciliation across generations, including acknowledgment, apology, and reparations.
11. The Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) Framework: Developed by the South African TRC, this framework outlines a process for addressing human rights violations, promoting accountability, and fostering reconciliation.
12. The Reparations Framework; Developed by the National Coalition of Blacks for Reparations in America, this framework outlines a process for addressing the historical injustices of slavery and racism, including reparations and restitution.
13. The Healing of Memories Framework: Developed by the Institute for Healing of Memories, this framework outlines a process for addressing historical trauma and promoting healing and reconciliation.
14. The Intercultural Dialogue Framework; Developed by the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO), this framework outlines a process for promoting intercultural dialogue, understanding, and cooperation.
15. The Conflict Transformation Framework: Developed by the Conflict Transformation Network, this framework outlines a process for transforming conflicts into opportunities for growth, healing, and reconciliation.
16. The Narrative Healing Framework: Developed by Dr. Dan Bar-On, this framework outlines a process for promoting healing and reconciliation through the sharing and reworking of narratives.
17. The Forgiveness and Reconciliation Framework: Developed by Dr. Everett Worthington, this framework outlines a process for promoting forgiveness and reconciliation in the aftermath of conflict and hurt.
18. The Social Cohesion Framework: Developed by the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD), this framework outlines a process for promoting social cohesion, inclusion, and reconciliation.
19. The Community-Based Reconciliation Framework: Developed by the Community-Based Reconciliation Network, this framework outlines a process for promoting reconciliation and healing at the community level.
20. The Cultural Revitalization Framework: Developed by the Cultural Revitalization Network, this framework outlines a process for promoting cultural revitalization, healing, and reconciliation in the aftermath of historical trauma.

These frameworks offer a range of approaches and principles for promoting reconciliation and a mutually rewarding future.

What dimensions of superiority do the righteous pathway have over the various human efforts for reconciliation?

The righteous pathway, rooted in spiritual and moral principles, offers several dimensions of superiority over various human efforts for reconciliation:

1. Transcendence: The righteous pathway transcends human limitations, biases, and self-interest, offering a more profound and lasting approach to reconciliation.
2. Moral clarity: This pathway provides clear moral guidelines, distinguishing right from wrong, and guiding individuals toward just and compassionate actions.
3. Spiritual transformation: The righteousness pathway facilitates spiritual growth, enabling individuals to confront and overcome their own flaws, biases, and limitations.
4. Accountability: This pathway emphasizes personal responsibility and accountability, encouraging individuals to acknowledge and make amends for past mistakes.
5. Forgiveness and mercy: The righteousness pathway promotes forgiveness, mercy, and compassion, allowing individuals to release grudges and work toward healing and restoration.
6. Justice and fairness: This pathway prioritizes justice, fairness, and equality, ensuring that reconciliation is built on a foundation of mutual respect and dignity.
7. Long-term orientation: The righteousness pathway takes a long-term view, recognizing that true reconciliation requires patience, perseverance, and a commitment to ongoing growth and transformation.
8. Holistic approach: This pathway addresses the whole person – heart, mind, and spirit – promoting a more comprehensive and sustainable approach to reconciliation.
9. Community and relationship-building: The righteousness pathway fosters strong, healthy relationships and community bonds, recognizing that reconciliation is often a collective and collaborative process.
10. Divine guidance and empowerment: This pathway acknowledges the role of divine guidance and empowerment, providing individuals with the strength, wisdom, and courage needed to navigate complex reconciliation processes.
11. Redemptive and restorative focus: The righteousness pathway prioritizes redemption and restoration, seeking to restore individuals, relationships, and communities to their intended purpose and potential.
12. Universal principles and values: This pathway is grounded in universal principles and values, such as love, respect, and compassion, which transcend cultural, social, and economic boundaries.
13. Internal transformation: The righteousness pathway facilitates internal transformation, enabling individuals to confront and overcome their own biases, prejudices, and limitations.
14. Humility and self-awareness: This pathway promotes humility and self-awareness, recognizing that true reconciliation requires a willingness to acknowledge and learn from one’s own mistakes and shortcomings.
15. Empathy and compassion: The righteousness pathway fosters empathy and compassion, enabling individuals to understand and relate to the experiences and perspectives of others.
16. Mutual understanding and respect: This pathway promotes mutual understanding and respect, recognizing that true reconciliation requires a deep appreciation for the dignity and worth of all individuals.
17. Accountability and restitution: The righteousness pathway emphasizes accountability and restitution, ensuring that individuals and communities take responsibility for past wrongs and work to make amends.
18. Healing and restoration: This pathway prioritizes healing and restoration, recognizing that true reconciliation requires a commitment to restoring individuals, relationships, and communities to their intended purpose and potential.
19. Forgiveness and release:  The righteousness pathway promotes forgiveness and release, enabling individuals to let go of grudges and resentments and move forward with hope and renewal.
20. Celebration of diversity: This pathway celebrates diversity, recognizing that true reconciliation requires a deep appreciation for the unique experiences, perspectives, and contributions of all individuals and communities.
21. Commitment to justice: The righteousness pathway emphasizes a commitment to justice, ensuring that individuals and communities work to address systemic injustices and promote equality and fairness.
22. Emphasis on personal responsibility: This pathway emphasizes personal responsibility, recognizing that true reconciliation requires individuals to take ownership of their actions and work to make amends.
23. Focus on relational healing: The righteousness pathway prioritizes relational healing, recognizing that true reconciliation requires a commitment to restoring and strengthening relationships.
24. Recognition of the role of power dynamics: This pathway recognizes the role of power dynamics in reconciliation, ensuring that individuals and communities acknowledge and address the impact of power imbalances on relationships and community.

By incorporating these dimensions, the righteous pathway offers a more comprehensive, sustainable, and transformative approach to reconciliation, one that addresses the deepest needs and aspirations of individuals and communities.

Concluding remarks

In conclusion, our discussion has underscored the profound human quest for reconciliation and peace in relationships with one another. This universal aspiration is rooted in our shared human experience of conflict, hurt, and division. As we navigate the complexities of human relationships, we are reminded that reconciliation and peace are not only desirable but also possible.

We have explored various frameworks and approaches that offer compelling cases for reconciliation, including restorative justice, transformative justice, and the righteousness pathway. Each of these frameworks emphasizes the importance of acknowledging harm, taking responsibility, and working towards healing and restoration.

Moreover, our discussion has highlighted the need for a nuanced understanding of power dynamics, cultural contexts, and historical injustices that shape human relationships. We have also acknowledged the importance of empathy, compassion, and forgiveness in facilitating reconciliation.

As we reflect on our discussion, we are reminded that reconciliation and peace are not destinations but rather ongoing processes. They require effort, commitment, and a willingness to engage in difficult conversations and confront our own biases and limitations.

Ultimately, our shared humanity and the pursuit of reconciliation and peace call us to embrace a vision of community and relationships that is grounded in mutual respect, trust, and understanding. As we strive towards this vision, we are inspired by the resilience and courage of individuals and communities who have worked tirelessly to heal and rebuild in the face of conflict and division. May our discussion serve as a testament to the power of human connection and the boundless potential for reconciliation and peace in our world. May we continue to learn from one another, to grow in empathy and understanding, and to work together towards a brighter future for all.

Isaac Megbolugbe, Director of GIVA Ministries International, 2024 Marquis Organization’s Class of Top Executives in the United States of America and a Fellow of the Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors.  He is resident in the United States of America.