Because of 2015,By Ali M Ali

patience_jonathan 600Under Military rule, Nigeria inches towards dictatorship, under democracy, she inches towards anarchy-Ali Mazrui
The Chinese have a wish for those they love. And I suspect too, for those they hate. They wish them to live in interesting times. Events in recent times have loudly confirmed that we, indeed, are living in stimulating times.
Nigerians in the class of hewers of wood and fetchers of water have since discovered ingenious ways to amuse us. We make caricatures of the follies of our leaders, verbal and otherwise, in the social media. Our leaders betray a common trait-amazing greed. This is the common denominator .In khaki or babbar Riga, most of them were/are kleptomaniacs, egomaniacs and megalomaniacs in that order.
Because they pilfer the common till, they dread life without power to cover their larcenous tracks. Gradually but certainly they transmute into full-blown megalomaniacs listening only to their own voices. Our history is replete with well-intentioned leaders who became tragic heroes and slaves to the seductive temptress called power
Every lettered and idle citizen with access to the Internet is now a publisher and cartoonist of sort. There was a time; every imaginable grammatical somersault was ascribed to the wife of the President, Dame Jonathan. And the caricaturists feasted on the woman’s admirable disrespect to the rules of sentence construction. We guffawed, jeered and forgot temporarily, our collective misery.
Truly stated, Mrs. Jonathan has never laid claim to linguistic competence to the white man’s language. Charitably stated, her linguistic vivacity is matchless. There is, to me, a direct link between the first lady’s zestful language and the penchant for sheer size among the ruling class.
The first lady is gifted. She may not be an orator in the mould of Michelle Obama. But we nonetheless held our breath each time she spoke publicly not so much for what she said but how she said it. Her delivery is unique. Until “Oga at the top” sauntered in and displaced the first lady, she had remained at the top of the chart and the butt of ruthless taunting mockery on account of her esoteric use of English.
Sandwiched between a leeching elite and a thieving political class, the social media has become what ogogorogo and kai kai used to be to the retrenched middle class worker. This is the ready sanctuary of Nigerians mired into the ground under the iron heel of a shoeless and clueless leadership.
More interesting times are, however, here. Consider, if you may, this. In Jonathan’s Nigeria, 16 is greater than 19. That explains, in part, why Governor Jang and his gang are strutting the land as the ‘authentic’ Governors Forum with him as leader. Someone should tell the old man that he cuts the picture of hilarious comedy each time he flaunts his ‘mandate’ as truly elected by his governor colleagues. If must be that Jang had not heard of what is said of his band. Nigerians of the informed hue view them as unwilling pawns in the predictable game of 2015. All of them are seen as captives of the crudest of base sentiments. It is whispered in some quarters that members of this gang were reined because of certain skeletons in the cupboard of their executive governors’ mansion.

Recall, if you may, dear reader, that on May 24, the Governors’ team spectacularly trounced the President’s team led by a reluctant, grumpy Jang with Amaechi as the arrowhead. But rather than concede defeat, Jang and by extension, the puppeteers pulling the strings insist that the figures lied, that 16 is greater than 19 which was the votes Amaechi polled to dust Jang.
Reality comes to most men too late. Jang and his backers are in that category. Not deterred, a replay of the governors’ forum election was rerun in a mid-week drama in Rivers state House of Assembly.
Five out of 32 legislators sat down and attempted to impeach the Speaker of the House. By law, two third is required to kick out the leadership. In numerical terms 23 lawmakers were required. An uphill task you might say, almost impossible. But this is Jonathan’s Nigeria. Nothing is impossible. Recall, if you may, that 16 is greater than 19.
So with this firmly in mind, the five lawmakers, six members glaringly short to form a quorum, sat down and ‘impeached’ the Speaker. To show that they meant business, they assaulted House Leader Chidi Lloyd, the irate lawmaker resplendent in a white dress that went amok after he found his bearing. The Speaker was also battered. The story as told by one of the legislators on Sunrise, Channels Television, the anti Amaechi camp fired the first salvo of assault.
Already the social media is awash with the footage of Lloyd gone berserk. But for his sartorial elegance, House Leader Lloyd real calling is battering. Post lawmaking, I suggest a career as a ‘bouncer’. The footage of the rampaging lawmaker with the apt title of ‘Knack am’ ‘Knack am’ has gone viral. Reports say his hapless victim, a front-runner in the move to oust the Speaker and ultimately Amaechi has lost a tooth, jaw dislocated, scalp battered and still in a ‘critical condition’. All these pale into insignificance compared to the injury done to the Constitution and democracy.
Governor Amaechi might not have heard of a nightmare and was stranger to it. Now he knows what it is-President Goodluck Jonathan.
Nightmare? Years ago, Oga Dan Agbese, defined it as ‘a horrid experience in which the mind is suspended from the thin can of reality and the tortured mind mistakes the normally inaudible footsteps of an ant with those of a monster’.
A couple of weeks ago, Amaechi raised the alarm that his life was in danger. But events in his state point that he was not hyperbolic.
It is easy to see why Amaechi is embattled.It is easy to believe that he has been targeted for the ‘shock and awe’ treatment. And it is easy to see why the president’s men are lying through their teeth. We don’t need any soothsayer to read Jonathan’s body language that he is running in 2015.And Amaechi is the biggest obstacle in his backyard. It is all because of 2015.No more no less!

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