The death of Maryam, wife of former military president, General Ibrahim Babangida, on Sunday December 27, did not come altogether as a surprise. For years rumours that she’d been struck by a malignant tumour had circulated even though she had looked her ageless radiant self. About six months ago those rumours proved true when she flew to Los Angeles, USA, for treatment. This looked unusual as Europe, France especially, had always been her family’s favourite destination abroad.
When her husband joined her early last month and did not return even when Nigeria faced a grave leadership crisis in late November following the sudden evacuation of President Umaru Yaradu’a to Saudi Arabia for treatment of what seemed to be an opportunistic but acute pericarditis, Maryam’s illness seemed acute at best and terminal at worst.
Then nearly two weeks ago an apparently sloppy Saharareporters news website carried a story that she’d passed on. My quick checks following several texts and phone calls I received for confirmation proved that the story was false.
Last Sunday the inevitable happened and Maryam died with her adoring husband of over 40 years right by her death bed.
Even though her death was not altogether a surprise it must have nonetheless shocked Nigerians for Maryam was a larger than life figure you did not associate with illness much less with death despite the fact that death and, sometimes, illness awaits us all.
Without doubt Maryam was the most glamourous First Lady in Nigeria’s history. She came to the job with nature’s gift of black beauty and a tall stately carriage. More importantly she came to it with a self-confidence and self-will which her adversaries, possibly even friends, regarded as overweening.
Whatever anyone thought of those nature’s gifts and traits they seemed to have made it possible for her to achieve the main goal she apparently set for herself of raising the status of women in society first, through her presidency of the Nigerian Army Officers Wives Association (NAOWA) when her husband became the army chief in 1983, and second, as the country’s First Lady when he became military president in a bloodless palace coup in 1985.
Of course Maryam was not the first to bring glamour to the office of the First Lady. Before her there was Flora, wife of Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe, the country’s first, albeit, ceremonial president. Then there was Victoria, wife of the youthful then General Yakubu Gowon. There was also Ajoke, General Murtala Mohammed’s wife.
None of these, however, served as long or with as much determination to make a difference in the lives of women in the country as Maryam. Thus it can be said that she brought more than glamour to her office; she also brought substance.
As president of NAOWA she seemed more concerned about the welfare of the wives of the other ranks than those of officers. I should know; I had a brush with her when, as a member of the board of the Peoples Bank under the chairmanship of the late Tai Solarin and the management of the late Maria Sokenu, I objected to a proposal by Sokenu to give loans to wives of the other ranks through their husbands. I objected on the grounds that the bank was meant for men and women without any means of sustenance. In any case, I said, there were no guarantees that the soldiers would pass on the loans to their wives.
My encounter with her occurred on a visit to see her husband at Dodan Barracks. Apparently Sokenu, wanting to curry favour with her had reported my objections to her. What did I have against wives of soldiers getting loans from the Peoples Bank, she asked in a not too friendly tone. Nothing, I said, as respectfully as I could and did all I could to avoid an argument I knew I could not win.
This encounter apart, it is on record that under her NAOWA built and renovated more facilities – schools, clinics, shops, etc – for officers and other ranks alike than at any other period before her, and possibly, since.
As First Lady she showed even more determination to champion women’s rights. In this, History would probably put her in the ranks of Amazons like the late Hajiya Gambo Sawaba of the NEPU fame and Margaret Ekpo of NCNC fame. These may not have had presidential husbands behind their struggles but no First Lady before or after Maryam has raised women’s consciousness for self assertion as she did.
Many critics, including this reporter, did express reservations about her style. More cynical critics even dismissed her Better Life for Rural Women, her nongovernmental organization for which she had become justly famous, as better life for royal women. Even then there can be no denying that her campaign inspired women to get into politics and depend less on their men like never before.
For me, however, her best legacy is not the high profile to which she raised the office of the First Lady nor is it the political awareness of women that she helped create. Neither is it the physical edifices she initiated including the National Centre for Women Development in Abuja’s Central Business District, a centre whose name was changed from Maryam Babangida Centre for Women Development by her successor, Mrs. Mariam Abacha, in an apparent fit of female grudge. ( Incidentally one way the Federal Government can pay her tribute is to restore her name to the building which has since become a major centre of social and economic activities in the nation’s capital.)
For me Maryam’s best legacy was that, her image as an overweening First Lady regardless, deep inside she was a woman who cherished the fundamental family values of being a dutiful wife and mother. This was apparent in the way she hardly ever interfered in her husband’s relationships with his lieutenants and friends, big or small, and in the way she kept her children, two of whom – Ai’sha and Mohammed - were already grownups while her husband was in power, completely away from exploiting the positions of their parents for personal gain. You could hardly say as much for the First Ladies that have come after her.
In this you could say Maryam was truly a model not only of what a First Lady should be. She was a model of what every wife and mother should be.
Needless to say, for her husband and children in what was clearly a closely knit and stable family the depth of their loss can hardly be imagined. One can only pray that God gives them the strength to bear their loss and for the Good Lord to forgive her trespasses and reward her good works with aljanna firdaus. Amin.